Sometimes friends make remarks about me to me and this morning I had a great email from a friend with such a remark. To speak with her words, "I am as always inspired by your joie de vivre." Reading that I suddenly realises I have my very own recipe for surviving.
My world seems to be against me. I'm having great problems with my income, it's been missing for 3 months now. Proper therapy hasn't come much closer, one place rejected me for my complexity. *sighs* It took them nearly 6 months to conclude that and that was based on a diagnose made almost one year after being put on their waiting list.
My own attempts to unravel myself lead to theories that would need a mind of understanding quantum fizzwicks. I find myself brushing the thinking of the field of quantum mechanics in order to find explanations. The best way to describe my findings would be pointing in the direction of quantum disentanglement in my quantum system. I honestly don't expect anyone to understand this, even I can only see this at certain moments of clarity. Can I find help for this magnitude of complexity? I doubt that, but I won't give up trying to find a way of getting the system under control somehow.
Back to why I wrote this...
Joie de vivre...
I had to think hard about its meaning for me, I didn't see it myself. I do try to see the joy in everything, no matter how small. Unfortunately it's often depicted with abundance, in my view it doesn't have to be.
Every morning I step outside and watch my passion flowers, some days there were four open on one plant, they give me great joy. I treat myself a Kenyan coffee every now and then, but I also find pleasure in my regular brew. All that while listening to birds nearby. Especially Sundays are great for that, there is hardly any traffic, so all peace and quiet.
I could go on, but it all comes down to this: Approaching all the little things that give me joy with a little more attention makes life a little more bearable.
It's no big secret, but society always seems to push us to more and faster. Finding our own little happy pace moments in between the turbulence of life, is probably our best way to survive.
Even when darkness surrounds me, I still manage to say to myself that this might be the worst place to be, but at least the coffee is great.
Whatever is happening, don't give up on seeing the niceties in life, no matter how small.
