I know it's been a while since I wrote something. A lot has happened and most events were having quite an impact on my state of being. In short, I'm not doing well at all. My future seems to have become bleaker and bleaker and I'm holding on to the last little straw to keep myself from giving up.
One of the hardest things I'm trying to deal with is being cut off from my life back in France. I thought to have a future there still, but now any hopes on that have been shattered to pieces as well as my heart. I should be wiser and try to put it somehow behind me, but I can't. The parts that have been hurt are nowhere to be found now, only the pain breaks through occasionally.
I'm stuck with a few older parts and I find it near impossible to adjust to a life here. I've been too long away, what once was my native country feels now very foreign. I've been de-rooted by my many international moves.
Worries have taken over my sleep and most nights I get only bodily rest, which makes my days even more difficult to get through.
I'll do my best to keep going, but I don't know how much longer I'll manage...
