It's been quite a strange week of which I hardly remember a thing. I do remember that I haven't been my usual selves, one of my hostile alters together with a male alter had been in front until yesterday morning.
Yesterday I have been tested, the official SCID-D test. I'm not worried about the outcome, only about the effect the testing has on my system (and of course me). I felt quite ok when I woke up this morning, but as the day progressed I started feel worse. It's noon now and I should be doing my groceries, but I feel not only psychologically bad, also physically. I'm having cramps, feel exhausted and I'm having a fever, I think. The weird thing is that despite my body feels very warm, internally I feel very cold. In all not so great.
My housing arrangement isn't that great, I found out what my landlady is gossiping about me. As it turns out, she is expecting that I'm cleaning her house for her, because I'm not often away from home. The agreement was (and still is) that we take turns in cleaning the areas we all use. The excuse that I'm home a lot is not validating her complaint that I wait for my turn to clean. There are other things that disturb both me and the other girl who lives here. The longer I'm here the more I know I'll be leaving before the cold weather comes, perhaps sooner. I'm not the only one wanting to leave, the other girl here is already fed-up too and she's been here only a few weeks.
In all this is a rather depressing state of being and I hope that things will turn around for the better soon.
